Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I need water and some morals
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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