Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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