So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
