then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
