He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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