i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
