I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
