How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
