Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize