ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
