The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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