uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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