Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
