i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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