I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
