i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
