Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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