RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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