I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
