You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize