Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
two words: eviction party
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize