do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
