yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
