Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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