I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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