He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We're too hungover to prance.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
