He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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