Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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