we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
