I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
