Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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