SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
