If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
