How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
