i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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