he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
