Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
What drink are we having for lunch?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
