Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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