I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
