if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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