I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
