Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
