Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
