hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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