I hate your face
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
