Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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