worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
