And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
