I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
