My liver just broke up with me...
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
