i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize