If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
