Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
