Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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