Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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