i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Will exercising make me less horny?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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