1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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